Google+ Followers

Monday, 19 December 2016

Mums and Loneliness

As a new parent or a parent to be, everyone is telling you how it would be worth it. They continue to tell you about the adventures that parenthood becomes, about how alive and sapped it makes you go - all in the same breath. They also tell you that life would never be the same. And they are almost, always right. Except for one thing. They never tell you how lonely it gets. For a new mother.

Looking after a new born is a journey in loneliness. It disconnects you to the rest of the world. Going out is a luxury. Your friends and you are living on opposite ends of the spectrum. You have your own health issues going on. Mentally you are on another plane compared to any other members of your family, however well meaning.

Many of us leave our jobs, our social lives, our travels and a lot more to become parents of our little bundle. Having a baby is a blessing, but managing the personal alone time that comes with it? Not so much.

It would help if there were more honest renditions of what motherhood is like. When women can tell other women that it is okay. That is is a phase. And that your life, just like your body, will get back to normalcy.

In all these last couple of months, I have found my own list on how to stay positive and make best use of our time.

  • Allocate your free time, however little it may be to stuff you want to get done. Learn to cook better, read more, pamper your body, exercise, home improvement or whatever your deal is. Whatever it is, take time to do it.
  • Know that it is temporary. Work out a Plan A. It could be on how to get back to work or how to get your body back in shape. 
  • Learn about child care options in your vicinity. So when needed you can use that too.
  • Take time out to meet friends when you can. It is now that you realize how wonderful it is to be catching up with old friends.
  • Stay away from the military mom brigade who sings sorry songs on how you must now devote your entire life to child rearing now that your own identity is a thing of the past.
  • Get help. From family and friends. Ask your spouse to be more involved if needed.
  • Lastly, never give up on your dreams.
Just a little bit of me time can help us mums love our children a whole lot more.

1 comment:

  1. Very well said. Never ever give up on your dreams, Never ever.